Newscaster: "Hello Valparaiso, the Lawless Land. Breaking news, just in: Burglars seem to have been spotted on police camera footage in the neighborhood jumping an unsuspecting pedestrian from behind with a Bulldog straight to the head, planting their face right into the ground before taking off immediately after. Not longer after this, an unsuspected accomplice flies into the unsuspecting citizens with a Dropkick to the face. Eye witnesses claim that the Burglars came 'out of nowhere' and are calling the assault 'The Money Shot'. Here we have live testimonial from a Valparaiso Denizen at the scene."
Valparaiso Denizen: "Yeah, I saw it all man. These Burglars were not average robbers, ya know? They had like, pro wrestling moves or something, man. Like they knew what they were doing. I just don't feel safe coming out of my house at night anymore. I mean, if random Burglars today coordinated such an attack and Bulldogged me right in the mouth, I'd probably have to kill myself. I don't see how anyone can come back from that and live it down."
Newscaster: "We are advising anyone who might be on the streets alone at night to stay aware of their surroundings, in case these Burglars make another appearance."
