Black Realm Chapter 1; The Story

"Dreams Are Like A Planet,
A Hierarchical Reign Of Terror.
All Things Are Watched Over,
But People Don't Seem To Understand."

"Naturally."

"My Interpretation Could Be Wrong, Only
Black
Or
White
In Life."

"It Makes Me Very Happy When
I Enter The Dream World.
Let My Woman Become My Source.
Everything I Need.
What Is This
Beauty?"

"Just Chill, I Love You.
You Think You Know The Half Of It,
But You Can't Understand This Happiness.
If That's Not Happiness, Then...
Perhaps What You Know Is A
Lie."

"But I'm So Tired."

"No More Pain When I'm In The Rain.
Yet I Always Have To Explain
The Same Things
To The Same Beings...
The Ghosts Of Eternity."

"All Things They Say Burn.
They Burn In My Mind, Burn To Cinders In A
Chaotic Flame.
Silly Manifestations They Have
Atop Their Blizzardous Imaginations.
So Outlandish.
They Don't Realize That The Truth
Is Not So Deceiving
Sometimes."

"I Am The Ambitious Spirit I Once Knew,
Only Still Stuck In A Lackadaisical Gloom.
But It Only Exists For A Short Period Of Time.
A Nostalgic Fragrance Lingers...
Am I Repeating It Again?
Time.
For Me And My Dreams, Nothing Moves In My Mind.
Unless I'm With My Motivation.
It's So Tiresome...
And Gloomy...
Sometimes.
But No One Seems To Care.
But That Doesn't Matter.
Cuz I Will Tell The Moon To Shine On Only Me... And You." - 2009 (Tymon Nikia Bolton II)

Hello, everyone. This is a story I wrote my Sophomore year at Kenwood Academy in Mrs. Neal's class, probably about 2010. I just found it today. Only Dexter has ever read this story, but looking over it, I realize that this is the story I wrote to describe the meeting between Khrona and his twin on the 'other side'. I just started writing and let my imagination take me wherever I saw in my head as I was writing. I didn't stop, didn't think about any of it, just wrote it down as I went along. This is weird, and I had to document it here, verbatim from the old english notebook I have it written down in. I also might have old pictures of what some of these places look like that I drew as I was writing this out, since it took several class periods to finish. xD if I find them, I'll upload them. Looking back on it... It really weirds me out how grim I was then and how it actually ties into everything that is going on now. Sometime I hate when I do this... Please, bear with me and enjoy.

By: Tymon Nikia Bolton II



"Daylight. I walked into the daylight, the piercing beams of the horrible sun blinding me temporarily. There was no one, a barren wasteland of manmade fixtures and nature's vile upchuck. There was only me, Khrona, a boy trapped in the aches and pains of reality. Disgusting, to say the least, but with no one around, a tad bit peaceful. I started down the sidewalk and a brisk wind flowed down the empty streets, all the way to the end of the block. I'd pay it no mind, the wind was a nice relief from the searing sun. I begin to cross the street and when I do, I am suddenly compelled to look up and I see... A girl.

She seems to be of my same age, but she as an oddity to be seen in these parts. Perhaps that is why I was attracted to her. She wore a lolita style dress with lace tied around her waist and crossed all down her stockings, down to her maid-like shoes. Her hair seemed to come straight from an anime, long an turquoise, and shaped into a normal, yet abnormal fashion. She held a single umbrella for who knows what reason. There was no chance of rain. We stared at each other for a couple of minutes, then started down the blocks parallel to each other, our eyes never losing connection. It was an oddity, indeed.

I couldn't help thinking 'Who is she? What does she want? Why is she following me? Why... is she so damn beautiful?' The sidewalk became more and more distorted as we got further down the block, but we did not seem to reach the end. Somehow, after 5 minutes, our sidewalks intersected diagonally from all of the distortion and we finally met up close. It was awkward, for we only gave blank, but malicious faces to each other.

Just as I was about to ask her my questions, she spoke, "Who are you? What do you want? Why are you following me?" I was too shocked to answer. Had she read my mind? no, no... those are general questions that everyone asked.

I responded, "Huh. I'm Khrona. I was taking a stroll through this wretched town, I had no intentions of following you. Now, same questions to you, missy."

She scoffed, then smirked, "I am Lolita. I'm just a passerby, not really heading anywhere. I'm not following you, either. You were just heading in the same direction, so I decided to take you with me."

That last statement confused me.

"Take me with you? We went nowhere. What the hell are you talking about?"

She snickered and shook her head, "You don't get it. That's the reason why you're here." She propped her umbrella upon her shoulder and stared into my eyes. This time, her eyes seemed to give off a demonic glow. I was immobilized.

There was then a flash of light and all colors became inverted. All I could concentrate on now was the searing pain in my head, and the voices... Voices? Never before had I heard voices. Usually, I only heard static, as if from a radio and the ticking of a clock. Looking at her seemed to make the noise clear, no more fuzzy static, but now horrific and overlapping thoughts that were my own, but not in my voice.

You're disgusting.
What is your purpose?
Fear. Depression.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Do you understand?
Can you comprehend?
Inferior being who does not understand.
You needn't know everything, yet you know nothing.
Sickening.
Disgusting.
Unfortunate.

Many more thoughts just continued, becoming more and more incoherent. I was no longer in control of myself... but was I ever? Am I dead? Am I alive? What has happened to me? What did she do?

I emerged from my abyss of questions and darkness floating in a pool in what seemed to be the middle of the street where I just was... but it was different. Everything was dark and gloomy, the trees were dead, the air was foggy. I liked whatever that girl had done.

"Is this what you desire most... Or is it what you fear most?"

I didn't understand it, but I paid it no mind. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and it was Lolita.

"I'll ask again, is this what you desire, or what you fear?"

I smiled and looked to her, "This is what I desire!"

Her face became dismal and she raised the tip of the umbrella to my neck, which was strangely sharp, metallic and pointy. Bloodshed. She had thrust it through my neck, and it seemed to pierce through my flesh and esophagus like tissue. To my surprise, I was not dead. I was in severe pain, I could not breathe and I could not move, but I was not dead. I wanted this superlative pain to leave my body. Lolita gave a wicked smile and grabbed the umbrella with her other hand, "And now... BEHEAD!!" She slashes the umbrella through my neck, leaving my head connected by a tiny piece of muscle and flesh which soon gave out and let my head fall to the ground. Blood spilled from my beheaded body, spurting into Lolita's face. She licked it and laughed, most likely at me, but laughed all the same. Everything grew dark.

I remained calm and cool, but ultimately confused. It felt like a liquid surrounded me, but this liquid was like none other that I had felt. I was pulled out by a grim figure that was very frail and skinny. He had no legs, a long, tattered cloak and a large, spiked oar. An oar? what was this? He threw me to the edge of his nicely carved canoe, then continued rowing. I landed on my ass. Wait, my ass? Wasn't I beheaded? How did my body come back? I didn't care, I was just glad to have it. After a while of waiting and looking, I noticed that the liquid we were floating on was cold, yet fiery at the same time... it was made out of what I made out as souls, but what did I know? I looked to the figure and asked "Who are you and where am I?" The figure raised his head so that I could see his face, but he didn't have a face for me to see. It was blank. I flinched out of surprise, but got closer out of amazement and curiosity.

The figure finally spoke, "I am Charon, courier of the dead over the River Styx." He did not want to say more to me, and I wasn't going to as. I knew what was to happen next. Ironically, he did speak again, however it was an odd inquiry, "Do you fear death?"

I promptly responded, "No. Does it look like I fear death?"

Charon rose his head to me and stared with nonexistant eyes, "Let me rephrase the question... Do you fear the Reaper?"

I responded again, "No. I am quite fine with the fate the reaper has for me, no matter what it is." Just as I said that, the boat docked. I exited and Charong swiftly turned the boat around and headed back upstream. I turned around, seeing nothing but a field of darkness, despair, gloom and death. The ground here was made of the bones of the dead, some still with rotting flesh about them. I was fine so long as an insect or arachnid did not emerge. I pressed forward, somehow excited to mee the Grim Reaper. I walked for what I thought was miles and miles, endless bones and corpses being my only company.

"Damn, how far is it? Maybe I should take a rest..."

The instant I said that, a large, boney throne jutted from the ground. On the royal bed of flesh and deathly objects, there was... The Grim Reaper. He had a cute, round face, a cup of tea with a skull in it, and a jar of souls labeled as 'Delicacies.' He was no more than 5 feet high. He was not threatening at all, except for the blood stained scythe behind him. It had fresh, dripping blood on the tip. The Reaper stared peacefully at me and I felt a bit awkward at how non... deathly he was.

He sipped his skull blood tea, "Well, well, well... Another soul for my jar. I eats these, ya know. They are most delicious." He raised his scythe and placed the handle in front of him in a broken skull in the ground, then placed his elbow on the blunt side of his scythe blade, "So. How do you want to do this?" He gripped the handle with his other skeleton hand, ready to strike. My soul shuddered out of anticipation, happiness, excitement, and what I thoght to be a slight bit of... fear.

I answered, "Do what you have to... I mean, I'm already dead."

The Reaper let go of his scythe, "... What? You have no care for your soul? Nothing?" The Reaper pondered... I wondered what was stopping him. He smiled, "Alright. I know that's a lie. You are not being truthful to yourself or your emotions. I can sense your anticipation, your anguish, your fear, your regret, and your mournful happiness that you try so hard to hide." The Reaper stood, pulling up his scythe. He cocked back, "You don't understand this. You don't understand anything, nothing of yourself or what has happened around you. You never died in the first place, and until you understand your emotions, but more importantly, yourself, you will not know the glory and freedom of death. Get a grip on reality..."

Before I could react, the scythe was brought down upon me and with another flash of this time, a red light, I was with Lolita again in another place.

There were many One Way signs in this place. All of them faced a different direction and they all seemed frozen in time, suspended in animation for eternity. I looked to Lolita, "First things first, why the HELL did you kill me?" She was silent, but from what I could tell, she was going to tell me that I don't understand. What is it that I'm not understanding? Maybe that's the exact reason why I am here now. After an awkward silence, she looked at me as if she were waiting for me. What was she waiting on? I was the one that asked the question, after all!!

"Well? Which way?" she asked me, a bit of annoyance being apparent in her tone. All of the signs said 'One Way,' but they faced many different directions! What could it mean? Which way do I go? I will get nowhere if I stand still... But that is when I realized it. I will go NOWHERE standing still. It is better to hope and go somewhere rather than mope and go nowhere. The path was clear to me now.

"I will walk my own path. I will follow no arrows!! These insidiously placed things can only follow one set path, but I do not!! I see nothing but my own path in front of me. Everything else can GO TO HELL!!"


Lolita smiled and grabbed my arm, but by that time I was too hyped to notice. Everything grew dark except for a slender path in front of me, my pathway. All of the arrows came to life, spinning to the direction that I was walking once I walked past them, then returned to their suspended animation. I hoped the end of this path would lead me to understanding, but as I reached the end, there was a singular sign with many arrows protruding from it and pointing in each and every direction. It read 'One Way. Which Way?' I stopped, having to think about it. No matter where I go, I have to follow the sign... but I didn't want to follow the sign. The sign will lead me to false paradise and ultimately ruin my overall being. I inspected the sign more closely now and I noticed something that I had not before. The sign pointed everywhere except for straight forward. I squinted my eyes, scowled and walked the fuck off, straight past the sign.

"Shit like that pisses me off! I won't be blindsighted by your childish games."

The sign crumbed and collapsed the farther I walked into the abyss of darkness, and once it had completely fallen, the light that shone on that single position ceased completely. That was one dilemma down, and I understood it completely... but I still have no clue what is going on. Lolita suddenly spoke, but it didn't seem like it was directed to me. "Do you... Understand?"

I looked at her, confused, "Where did THAT come from?"

She pointed in front of her and in the glowing abyss was random, yet intricate stitching that went on as far as the eye could see. Spelled out in needles and threat in front of the stitching was 'Do You Understand?' in which I assumed Lolita had read previously. I would think that the ominous stitching was asking me the question, so there was nothing to do but respond.

"I understood what happened back there, but I still don't get where I am, why I'm here and how to get out!"

Silence. Nothing moved. It almost seemed like time had stopped. Was there even time here? Where is 'here?' As I was lost in thought, the needles disassembled from their worded position and jabbed at me, straight through my flesh and bones. Lolita backed away, staring at me with dead eyes and a grim smirk. The threads started wrapping around me, encasing my whole body in a silky thread somewhat like that of a spider's. Spider? I was now on a spider web, the area completely different from before. I looked down through the web, a pit of pitch black darkness. I looked up to the sky; crimson, as if made of blood itself. There was no ground, no structure, no nothing. It was just a giant spider web attached to nothing, suspended in midair and going on endlessly. Naturally, I decide to walk.

"Every time I go somewhere new, Lolita is nowhere to be found. Am I switching worlds, or something? Dimensions? Realities?"

By now, my feet were just getting accustomed to the pattern of the webbing, making it easier for me to walk when I just happen to step on an odd strand of webbing. I decided to inspect it and what I found was quite... Interesting, to say the least. It was a word made from the web. Due to the circumstances, it was a bit hard to read, though it was still legible.

"T... Tangled?"

In what? By what? Just... Tangled? No, wait... in the distance, I could see another abnormality in the pattern. It could be another word. I ran towards it, careful not to lose my balance and fall through one of the openings and BAM!! There it was, another word.

"In?"

Wow. Such a small word. What a waste of my time and energy. Though my mind would not let me go without analyzing the situation.

"Tangled in...?"

I got it. There were words in the webbing that were spelling out a sentence. Just need to find the last word and I would be out of here... This whole place made me think a huge spider was going to devour me, or something. I continued walking, following the abnormal patterns and reciting the words, "The... Corrupt... Web... Of..." It stopped. I stopped. There were no more patterns, therefore the sentence was incomplete. I tapped my foot, thinking long and hard...

"Tangled in the Corrupt Web of...? Of what?"


I turned around and a hideous, gargantuan arachnid towered over me, various acids and venoms being secreted from its fangs and talons. It raised its abdomen above its head and carved into it was the word 'Life.' Life was the name of the spider? This was Life's web? I am... Tangled in the Corrupt Web of Life. It was clear to me. Not that it mattered. I was already deathly terrified of this being. I have a fear of all insects and arachnids... Its horrible fangs, its repulsive face, its terribly sickening hairs... I was ready to shit enough bricks to make a house.

"Life... Is a giant, disgusting spider? I can see that..." I was mostly talking to myself. The spider gnashed its fangs and raise a leg, "An evil, violent, destructive spider..."

Again, saying this to myself. Hell, I kicked it into high gear and got my ass outta there. The spider reacted, catching up to me fast. How can something that big move that fast in such a short time? Look at me... Running away from life... Running from both my fear of life and arachnids. I never feared life so much. Hell, I never feared life at all! But life takes on many different forms, and it is to be feared most when it is corrupt... Or perhaps, not to be feared at all. I had been kicking life's pathetic ass before, why not do it again? Yes. The final stand off between life and myself.

"Life has won its share of battles, but I'll be DAMNED if it takes the last one!!"

I stopped and leaped in between one of the spaces, holding onto one of the threads so that I would not fall to my doom. The spider halted its advancement as well, taking a large bite of its own web to get under it and chase me. I climbed further, then repeated the process, but instead climbed upward and to the top of the web. Life had no choice but to bite and climb up. The process was repeated several times. The final time this was done, I climbed to the the to of the web and stood there, not ready to run. The spider snapped the thread with its fangs trying to climb up, but it did not work. I had maneuvered in such a way that the spider would cut threads in a circular fashion instead of straight, mostly for the sake of time. Now the single circle of webbing the spider was being suspended from was weak, having very little threads to hold up the foundation of the web. The spider tried to jump at me from below with a final gnash, but it ended up failing due to the threads giving out from the weight of the spider. The threads wrapped around the spider completely as it fell and the spider changed into a ball of black light that slowly deteriorated the farther down it went. Life had been tangled in its own corrupt web, which led to its downfall.

Since the thread I was on had nothing holding it up, I fell, too. If I were to die it would be well worth it. I was expecting to deteriorate, too... But I didn't.

I landed in a small room. A VERY Small room. The only thing there was a painting on a canvas. Upon closer inspection, I realized that this painting was... me. Rather, a cute but creepy cartoonish version of me. No matter, for I was in a nice place... Secluded. Solitary. Isolated. Confined. Confinement. Perfect. Paradise. I've always enjoyed being... Alone. To a certain extent and time period, mind you. No one likes being totally alone all the time.

"I could... Get used to this place. No one here... Time to get my thoughts together." I stretched and smiled, but then...

"Look at you. Alone. Alone is what you will always be."

Startling. I didn't know who this was, but he had my voice, just a bit more hateful.

"Haha. Your idiocy is so very amusing... You sicken me, whelp."

Were these my thoughts? Sure, I had my negative thoughts when I was alone, but... The voices were never audible.

"I know what you're thinking. Ha, I AM you, but I hate you, though not as much as everyone else. I am one of your negative feelings turned real! I finally have my own will!"

As it spoke, I only looked around with a crazed shock. The room was too small for there to be anyone in here, and I couldn't drown this voice out with other thoughts!

"Where am I? Right in front of you. Heh heh, but you're too stupid to comprehend me."

I continued to look around frantically. I could feel the insanity rising inside of me, more than usual. My eyes wouldn't focus on one set target and both looked in two different directions at once.

"Fool, I am--"

I looked up.

"Here."

My eyes concentrated, glaring at the lone painting. "You." I said to it.

"That's right... Me. Do you know who I am?" it asked me.

I responded "You're me."

It became violent. Huge blades of paper stabbed at my body from the canvas, slicing up my flesh. "NO! I AM NOT JUST YOU!! I am your hate! Your fury! Your red hot anger! Your vengeance! Your destruction! Your Violence! All of those things and more are concentrated into me... Heh heh... And I love it!" The papers retracted back into a stack. The face of the drawing had changed significantly, as well. It was gloomy in appearance, bearing dark, soulless eye sockets with a malicious intent. Its clothing had become dark and tattered, yet it still had only nubs for arms and legs. It didn't move or change facial expression, but being near it, I could feel its hateful energies engulf my own.

"This room... Does it symbolize my closed off emotions?"

It laughed at me "Haha! You're getting warmer..."

I thought, inquired again "The feelings deep within myself?"

It laughed again "You're on fire! Come on, just a little more..."

I really couldn't think of much more than that... "... The feelings I love to express most?"

It almost turned over to a new sheet of paper "BINGO! You got it!! Was that so hard?"

My eyes darkened. "I know I don't feel just destructive and hateful emotions. That's a fact." I had to say that to it, or else... it might have come true.

"Psh. Of course not. To think that for a second makes you more stupid than I could imagine. Wretched boy. Look to that corner over yonder." It turned... somehow, and pointed to a corner of the room.

There were glowing eyes that I know for a fact were not there when I got here. There wasn't a door and nothing fell from the ceiling, so how...? The corner beast rose, I could tell from the eyes rising, then emerged from the shadows. It was a severely torn, ripped and stilled up doll that resembled myself.


Was all I could manage to get out. The mouth and right eye were sewn up loosely, so the eye was only partially open as well as the mouth. Its other eye was a deeeeep yellow color, very melancholy indeed, but at the same time, a bit scary. The doll looked similar to the drawing, only without clothing and it had pointed leg... nubs. It inched closer to us and with each step it took, it became more and more malformed than what I had interpreted before. The right arm sprouted one large claw finger from the index finger and the left arm expanded into a huge, rectangular nub at the forearm, more and more stitches appeared all over it and numerous colors contributed to its patchwork appearance. Not a single color on it was the same. The oddest part of it was the small spirit like sludge that attached itself to its ass... something of a parasite, one could say.

"What... What's that one? And by the way, what do I call you?"

The drawing turned back to me, "Insolent child, call me Hate. The doll, that is... Well. Let it explain itself."

The doll looked up, its forgotten eyes staring straight into mine, sending chills down my spine. It spoke in a low, depressing tone, softer than hate and filled with a lot more despair, "I am an enigmatic doll, the harvester of your forgotten emotions... Or, in other words, emotions that you don't know anymore." It pointed to itself with its long, single claw. "The further you veer from these emotions, the more deformed I get." The doll pointed to some of its colors, and in accordance to them, it listed, "Happiness, Childhood, Pep, Cheer, Recovery, Restedness... To name a few. These are things you have forgotten. You must become in tune with them, or else... I will continue to change into a hideous beast... Until my stable form is no more." It lowered its head and curled into a fetal position.

I blinked, once again, knowing that I had experienced these things before. Perhaps not on a daily basis, but I know I felt them.

The doll looked to me, "You don't understand what I mean by 'forgotten'? You don't experience them enough to know their true meaning, or you hide the true meaning... but perhaps the shadow can explain it better..." It brought its head down, returning to a lifeless position.

"The... Shadow? MY shadow?" I turned around and my shadow elongated as well as darkened, which was odd since there was no source of light whatsoever... It was actually puzzling how I could see myself. The shadow grew a fake, emotionless, slight smile on its face and 2 white, piercing circles appeared as eyes. I looked at it on the ground.

It said to me, "Hi. I am your shadow. I am pleased to be your friend." This one seemed nice.

"Gahahaha! The shadow of your true feelings! Your shadow which hides what you truly feel, or generates a shadow of your forgotten feelings. The only thing that makes you nice." Hate cackled at his words.

I swiftly turned, a bit enraged, "I do not shadow my niceness! I am a nice person when I feel the need to be!!"

Hate glared at me with an unchanging face, "But you still hide your true feelings and thoughts of people! All of the negative things you think, everything you want to say! Those times where you truly want to make your friends feel bad! The shadow is there to mask that." Hate then looked to the shadow, awaiting its response.

"True, it may not be everyone..." it said, "... But a great deal of people you are not true to because of your stability and trust with them... And you know how it will effect them. That is why I am here. To hide your true feelings, most being Hate, and keep everything peaceful. To project false happiness so all others will not question. Aren't I just dandy?"

I turned my head, not wanting to face the truth, only to be looking at Hate.

"Can't handle it, boy? Haha, and we still aren't done yet... Talk to your soul, child!!"

I was about to speak when something was caught in my throat. I coughed and hacked, finding it hard to breathe. I felt like I was dying. After forcefully inducing the Heimlich maneuver on myself, I coughed up a floating orb with a ghost-like tail. It wisped about, opening its eyes. A body grew from it, glowing in the same fashion as the head. It looked like it was wearing a flowing robe with tattered sleeves and a ghostly tail as a hem. It had lonesome eyes, no hands and no feet.


Just from its demeanor, I could already tell what this was. "Okay, let me guess, Sadness?"

My soul spoke, continuing the thought that I had finished, "Solitude. Loneliness. Despair. Pain. Agony. Misery. Heartbreak... and things of the like. I am the forlorn soul of you, one that wishes for solitude, but longs for another..."


Him speaking made me think. "Wait... You four... are manifestations of only negative things. Where is... the other one?"

Hate knew what was coming. "Yes, the other one. The one that has caused you so much misery and pain to the point where it's unbearable. The elusive and rare one that may be the only positive emotion other than fun filled happiness and friendship that can overpower us all in a heartbeat... The one I -- No, you hate most..."

My chest began to glow bright and felt really warm... It burst with a fiery explosion, leaving a gaping hole in my chest, being attracted to the center of the room undoubtedly.

"... Love."

Hate growled at the pulsating, bloody heart floating midair above them all. "Love, you act like you're so much better than the rest of us! Sealing us all away to the confinements of the inside of this child whenever he sees someone that he fancies? GAH!! I really do hate you most, you condescending asshat!!" Hate's papers rifled furiously, however the still beating, veiny, bloody heart did not seem moved by its words.

The heart floated near the Enigmatic Doll and whispered "With love comes happiness, whether it may be for a childhood memory, a video game or friendship..."

The doll raised its head, now staring with eyes of clarity and hope. Its deformities began to neutralize for the time being.

Love squirted heart juices all over the doll and moved onto the shadow. "You exist so that the boy does not hurt those he loves, not to trap anything and everything away and hide true feelings. You also exist for the boy's love of being mysterious and shrouded in the unknown."

The shadow shed one white tear that did not leave its eyes and that false smile turned into a frown of regret. The shadow retracted into an oblivion, not to be seen.

The heart moved on to the soul, "Loneliness can only be remedied by the love of another, whether it be friends, family, or even a certain someone... The others will be remedied in time." Special love dusts flew over the gloomy soul and it became a white-ish blue rather than a dark gray. It returned to me through the gaping hole in my chest.

All that was left now was... Hate, a direct contradiction of Love, its exact opposite, its enemy.

Love floated to the picture, "Hate... What to do with you? The boy enjoys showing hate as well as love... You might say that he loves to hate at times, would't you agree?"

Hate, knowing this to be true screeched back at Love, "AUGH!! Foul Cretin! Why must you tamper with me so? An oxymoronic statement such as that just... makes my undying fury burn brighter! GAH!!" Hate combusted into a flaming pile of papers, slowly, but surely burning up into nothing.

Love sighed, "All anger and fury burns up as time passes..."

I lowered my eyes and gave a smug look, saying sarcastically, "Wow, Love, you sure are the shit." The sarcasm faded. "But if you don't mind me asking, what overpowers you?"

The heart turned to me, pulsating faster and faster, blood deluged from it and the heart began to shrivel, "The cruelty of others... Those who reject my love... Those who toy with it... Heartache... Heartbreak..." As it went on, more blood spewed out, now turning gray, then black. The heart also changed from gray to black as it gradually got smaller and smaller. A crack appeared in the center of the heart, going down until it was two. Out of nowhere, an endless barrage of needles stabbed into the heart halves until there was no space left for anymore. To add to that, the heart ignited with a black flame and began to wilt and crumble slowly. It went back into the hole in my chest and sealed it back up, and not even a second later I felt the horrible, indescribable, unsurpassed, unsurmountable, supreme, transcendent pain and misery of love... as well as a broken heart.

"DAMN!!! MAKE THIS HORRIBLE PAIN STOP!!! THERE IS NO PAIN GREATER THAN THIS!!!" I groped my chest, almost falling to tear, until my heart abruptly... exploded.

Again, darkness, only this time with searing pain. I could feel it, but I couldn't see or hear. I knew my eyes were open, yet I still could not see! I began to hear a voice...

"Le Pain Perdu... Le Pain Perdu..."

I try to comprehend this voice. "French... Toast...?" My vision soon returns to me, blurry at first, but then begins to clear up as I bat my eyelids nervously.

The voice speaks again, "You do not understand... Le PAIN Perdu!!!"

I am fully conscious now, again in a room of some sort. The room has a completely black floor and partially white walls, but at a midpoint it seems that nothing but blackness drips down from the abysmal ceiling.

There is a single child in the center of the farthest wall, mutilated and quivering with fear and what I'd expect to be pain.

Le Pain Perdu.

I sat down in front of the child a good distance away and just examined him. He had a large head, a huge butcher knife that looked like it was forcefully lodged through his head as well as an overly large meat cleaver cleaved all the way to the midpoint of his cranium. His eye sockets were filled with dripping blood, but no eyes, and dark circles were around his sockets... hell, damn well engulfed his sockets. He had a terrified and eternally pained expression on his face, his mouth leaking blood just as his eye sockets were, but never opening. I could barely see his torso behind his nubbed hands and pointed feet that held him in his fetal position, but I could tell that there was a large wound going down from the beginning of his chest to the tip of what I presumed was his groin. It was loosely stitched, making it easy for blood to spill out of this grotesquely large wound, which it did, only adding to the pool of his own blood from his various wounds that he sat in. It looked very painful indeed.

Le Pain Perdu.

I held the gaping chasm of my chest that my heart used to reside in, only to feel the pains of lingering heartbreak.

Le Pain Perdu.

I noticed things that I didn't notice before, things around him, mutilated corpses and body parts. There was a head with sharpened forks of various sized stabbed into and through it. There was an eye that had also fallen out of it, the optic nerve was still connected. It swirled around one of the fork handles before finally coming to the actual eye, which was in a spoon ready to be eaten. By what? Beats me. Perhaps maybe the child himself in a desperate attempt to get his eyes back.

Le Pain Perdu.

On the opposing side of him there was a beheaded body that lacked arms from the shoulder on. There were many spoons jabbed deep into the flesh of the body, some that had scoops of flesh n them that were matches to the scoops missing from the body. The legs of this limbless body had also seemed to be cut off by the spoon; one at the knew and one at the joint of the leg and the pelvis. The legs were nowhere in sight.

Le Pain Perdu.

On the wall, there was nothing but 2 arms that still leaked fresh blood. They brought some color to these monochromatic walls. The 2 arms were pinned to the wall with a butcher knife and a meat cleaver respective to their sides if looking from left to right. On the left was a right hand and on the right was a left hand, most likely belonging to the corpse with the spoons in it. At his front was the oddest of all, just because of the fashion in which this one died. A corpse lay flat, no arms, no head with a huge open wound extending from the chest to the groin, much like the child. An eggbeater had the large and small intestines of this body wrapped and tangled in its blades, which is what I assume blew out the motor. It was in front of the child, making him look like the culprit. I peered inside of the body and noticed that parts of bones, especially the rib cage, and all of the other internal organs had been harvested and were nowhere to be seen.

Le Pain Perdu.

I looked back to the trembling kid and finally said to him "What is this whole place about?"

"Le Pain Perdu."

I had enough of this 'Pain Perdu' shit. "What does that even mean?"

The kid promptly responded, "Figure it out. There's nothing more to say about it."

I was still puzzled. "Le Pain Perdu? French Toast!"

The child was silent.

I assume that this one had a deeper meaning in the title... But for right now, questions. "Did you... Eat these people?"

He gave a fast answer, once again, "Yes... and no. Le Pain Perdu."

I was getting pissed. "Did you KILL these people?"

He said, "Yes, but no. Le Pain Perdu"

That drew the line. "Look, I don't care if you kill me and fuck my body meats while devouring my insides, stop with the damn Pain Perdu!! French Toast has nothing to do with this!!" I didn't know it, but I had just given a partial answer to my question. The title does have deeper meaning... Perdu also means lost and Pain means Bread. Lost Bread? No, no... that couldn't be it... But I know I'm getting closer. "What... No, who are you, might I ask?" I asked the child. He continued trembling, rocking back and forth.

"I am... Le PAIN Perdu!!!"

I couldn't take the last one "SHUT UP with that Le Pain Perdu shit!! DAMN!!!" I held my head out of both frustration of being here and frustration of the repetition. Why was it that they kept putting emphasis on the 'Pain'? What's special about bread...? Unless it isn't bread all, but Pain!

Le Pain Perdu.

A large chainsaw motor was heard in the distance, floating downward to just above the child's head. It was labeled, 'Le Pain Perdu.' The chainsaw was about 20 feet long and 20 inches high from handle to blade. It began to rev. I tried to pay it no mind by trying to figure out what Le Pain Perdu is! The only thing that REALLY came to mind was 'The Lost Pain.' That was what it was from the start, the Lost Pain, Le Pain Perdu. (It's actually 'The Lost Bread') I was starting to feel quite lethargic for some reason... Drowsy. Dizzy. Sleepy...

Le Pain Perdu? The faint whirring of the chainsaw was all I could hear, and my drownsiness hindering my vision. The child had become an evanescent enigma to my perception now. Hard to move... Hard to think... Hard to feel anything... except pain.

Le Pain Perdu.

Was I reaching a catatonic state? Catastrophe.

Le Pain Perdu.

I had been like this far a few moment, but it felt like centuries. I could sense that atrophy was kicking in... or was it...

Le Pain Perdu?

Is this what this child was feeling? Is this what he has to endure for eternity? A Lost Pain? The Chainsaw revved up. I knew it was coming closer to me, though I could not see it. The pain of death would come to me soon...

"Although..." I started to think out loud, "With pain, there always comes relief. All pain goes away after a while. A lost pain becomes a known pain which becomes no pain. Le Pain Perdu." I was healed. I revelation of sorts came unto me through those words. My heart rejuvenated itself and again sealed the hole in my chest.

"Whether it be pains of love, life or of the mind..." the child said, standing up, "There will be relief to come in time." He grabbed the chainsaw and pulled it away from me, "Even if it must come in death..." He proceeded to hack and shred his own body up until he was nothing more than a pool of blood, guts and sharp objects. Maybe he truly knew pain, and his only escape was the cold, relentless hands of death. A sad, yet deep tale of wonder to behold.

I touched my heart and felt no pain about me. My body was at peace for the time being. I remained pretty stoic about this, but I could not help but think about how such a callous feeling could exist in beings such as myself. I sighed, for that thought was just one of the ephemeral thoughts that passed through my head during my time... wherever I am. The walls of this random room began to run and drop again, almost like there was a leakage...

I soon figured out that the dripping blackness was blood, but I could not tell from where. The black blood was closing in on me and it seemed to have a sort of murderous intent to it. In a panic, I could not help but look to what I thought was the ceiling and there it was, glaring down at me. One giant, unnatural, cycloptic eye that cried out tears of blood that somehow ran along the length of the ceiling and walls instead of dripping straight down.


Was it immune to gravity? Or was there no gravity? I couldn't tell, but at the moment, I didn't care. I didn't know whether the bloody tears would kill me, drown me or help me out of here, but it was surely something I did not want to find out. The eye spoke to me, "Crying tears of blood is not an abnormality... Even if the tears are... black." It was suddenly a few inches from my face. It was still connected to the ceiling, yet it was so close to me, hovering above my head. A large teardrop of black blood fell from the eye and onto me and the instant after, the eye had devoured me, or blinked on me, if you will.

Where was Lolita? Why was she not by my side? Where did she keep going and why was I continuously taken from her? There was still a lot that was unclear to me, But I did understand this: I would not be let out of here until I fully understood everything. Maybe the Reaper will take my life once I do.

As I continued thinking, I realized something important... I wasn't unconscious. Usually when transitioning from these weird places, I was unconscious... Usually from some type of pain inducing weapon or a gruesome uncalled for death. This time I was actually walking through the blackness without pain whatsoever... That was good, I guess.

I took another step and somehow I was in a dank, dense, foggy area. There was a single railroad track laid out that looked like it stretched out to infinity. On a pathway to this track, there was a small toll booth. A toll booth on the OTHER side of the tracks.

"Wait, isn't that dangerous?" I asked to no one, only to get the response, "Damn right, so you'd better pay quick."

Could it be? The voice... It was her. Lolita. Where did she keep popping up from? Whatever, I was happy to have her back with me. Seeing the idiocy of the small toll booth on an infinitely long rail road track, I had to suggest "Let's just walk around."

Lolita gave me that sort of 'WTF?!' look, as if I were the stupid one.

"What's wrong with my idea?" I had to ask.

She shook her head, "You haven't noticed what's happened to the ground yet." She pointed at the nothingness that used to be the ground. Now there was no ground except for the thin strip of land about the width of the toll booth on the other side.

I looked downward at the non-ground "... Are you serious? When did this happen and HOW did I not see it? That's like sleeping through sharks gnawing off your legs. The sharks ALSO have lasers attached to their freakin heads."

Lolita laughed, but I'm not sure if it was because I was pissed or because of what I said. Oh well, I went with it.

We walked to the front of the toll booth, the gate lowered in front of us. The word FATE was imprinted on the yellow and black bar. "The gate of fate? What an original rhyme." More sarcasm, joy. Sarcastic narration, too? How great.

This toll booth was a bit demonic in appearance, donning 2 huge horns jutting from the sides, the opening made a devilish face, eyes and all, and the button was merged with the ground acting and looking as if it were... skin of some kind. There was a small, shadowy man -- no, a demon, inside of the mouth like opening. His eyes were only white circles and his teeth gleamed, sharp, pointed and white. He had two small, drooping horns at the top of his head as well. I was unable to see any of his features except for those, since they were hidden in the deep shadows of the demonic booth.He raised his abnormally long arm and reached outward, a hand which seemed to be bigger than his body opening up, as if beckoning me. He opened his overly large, smiling mouth and said, "Tooooll Pleeeaaase..." His voice was dry and dark, almost evil, but at the same time soulless.

It angered me that he would ask me for money so that I could go across this gate of fate. Who should pay for their fate? The anger boiled inside of me, this whole damn place made me furious. I couldn't help but to tell him off. "Now what a fucking minute here. This is my fate. My destiny. Why must I pay for my own fate? My fate should be chosen by ME, not whether or not I pay for it or anything. Besides that, who blocks off the road on the OTHER SIDE of the train tracks!? I have to stand on the train tracks, dammit! This would be dangerous if a train was coming."

The booth demon snickered and rubbed his tongue against his teeth. "Pay for your fate... What do you suspect I want you to pay me in? How will you pay me?" He raised his other hand and tapped his wrist with a pretend watch on it. "You'd better hurry... Or it will come soon." He snickered again, his hand moving closer to me, "Tooooll Pleeeaase...!!"

His attitude pissed me off... but then again, many slaves to the booth pissed me off. Usually people who forced pay upon me for access to a place I might not even enjoy who had such an attitude pissed me off. I was ready to slap his hand away fro me, until something hit me. He didn't want money from me. What could the demon want? The gate of fate... Pay for my fate... Usually when you have to pay for something in such a situation, it meant...

But wait, I heard something in the distance, bellowing down the narrow railway at an unfathomable speed. "Lolita! He wants our lives! Go! Off the tracks!"

Lolita nodded and jumped, but the bar came down before she could make it. Some sort of dark energy hindered us from climbing over.

The demon began to cackle, "TOLL PLEASE!!!"

The train sped ever closer, breaking through the speed of sound. The only thing I could think about was protecting Lolita and escape. It was apparent that the demon would get our lives one way or another. There was no way out of this one, only imminent death.

Lolita peered from behind me and launched a missile from the tip of her umbrella, which now had a large hole in the tip rather than it being sharp and pointed.

The demon quickly frowned, only making the small sound, "Tch..." before exploding in his miserable oblivion.

The train faded out just as it was making contact with us, giving the effect that it had just passed through it. We were both petrified and we knew it. Hell, we didn't think that she'd hit when she fired, which led me to the next question, "How the hell did your umbrella shoot a missile from it? Where do you get ammo?"

She scratched the back of her head. "It's... an omnipotent umbrella. Yeah, it changes into bat wings, can be used as a grappling hook, sword, grenade and missile launched aaaand a cookie cutter for special occasions!"

Something clicked inside of me. I don't know if I had just dropped some I.Q. points or was going crazy, but it was one of the two. Slowly, I turned, step by step, inch by inch, I continued to walk. Lolita followed behind me. The ground had returned some time back, so we started to walk on that. There was a set pathway in the grass that was labeled as a shortcut. Being the person I am, I should have stayed alongside the tracks... I took the path.

Lolita twirled her umbrella. "So... Nice weather, huh?"

I was silent for a few moments, but then said, "Why do you keep leaving me?" I didn't look at her.

She frowned, then she averted her gaze from me. "What, you need a girl here to make you feel big, or are you just horny?"

I could tell from her voice that she didn't want to leave, even though she tried hard to cover it up. "You know I didn't ask you to follow me, or even to 'take me here,' as you said. You can go anytime you like." A pain in my heart, just from saying that to her... It soon subsided. I could tell that she was a bit hurt by that, too... "Can you... Tell me what you meant by 'taking me here'? Sorry if I sound harsh..." I was really trying not to be angry, but I really didn't want to be in this place.

She finally responded, "That demon... Brought me here. When I said that, it wasn't me. It was that demon. When our eyes met, it took control of me and transported you here through me. I only noticed you because... I thought you were cute." She scowled and blushed at the same time.

"Odd, I feel the same way... Who would have known?" I had to think about something for a moment... "That demon... What is it? Why is it trying to kill me? Is that the reason why you cut off my head before? Because you were possessed?"

She nodded, "And still, I haven't the slightest clue why we're here, but I know we are inside of you."

That demon was not like the others... Not like Hate, not like Life, not like Le Pain Perdu... Those things helped me better understand myself and my problems, but that demon seemed to make dilemmas that involved death. Fate? Dilemma? Death? Or maybe all 3. I don't know, but I have to get it out of me.

As we continued walking, we finally reached a new place; The Crossroads. This place gave off a strange aura, but it looked like something important. Again, they were railroad tracks this time intersecting at one point to make an X. On that X, there was a sign that read 'Cross Roads, Choose your Destiny.' First fate, now destiny? Huh. No matter. I'll just pick a path and go down it.

I looked down the first path and an image appeared before us. I guess it was showing what that path held in store for me. This path showed me a life without Lolita. It was a miserable life of aloneness and regret, losing the one person. I could truly lo--

I looked down the second path. This was a path of me never finding my way out of here, wandering my innermost self for eternity, never learning of how to better myself.

I looked down the third. In this one, I got out of myself, learning all I needed to and staying with Lolita... but it was cut off right there and I could not see the end.

The final path was a path of incompletion. I get out with Lolita, but something about me cannot seem to keep her heart with mine... Something incomplete about myself, about my life. There behind me was the demon. It was forcing Lolita away and changing me into a hideous creature... But then it was cut off.

Four paths that I knew what would happen if I traveled down them. I could only go down one. The third one seemed to be the best, but that one had a cut off ending... Usually that meant something bad.

We stood before the sign, looking up at the words. 'Choose Your Destiny' again... It almost seemed like it was forcing us down a path itself. There was no way I could choose, I was a naturally indecisive person. "I... I can't choose..."

The sign slowly and gradually became darker and darker, the words 'Then you shall face this one...' appeared on it before it was completely black. In the distance, there was a huge, black sunrise on the horizon. It was beautiful... However, it was not a sunrise at all. It was a black explosion that was consuming the land.

I sighed, turned and grasped Lolita. "This might be the end of us, so I thought this should happen now..."

Before I could finish, we were devoured by the explosion.

Before we knew it, we had emerged from a pitch black pool somewhere else.

"Damn... I thought we were going to die..." I had to say.

Lolita just stared at me, then swam ahead.

I sighed, following her. Before long, we were forced to the top of the black liquid, fully able to stand and everything. A lone woman stood in what was assumed to be the center of the pool of black liquid... but something was off about her... I looked at her closely and it was revealed to me that her dress WAS the eternal black pool. Her skin tight dress also seemed to be connected to her body. Her hair was black and flaring like a flame, wavering and spewing calmly. Her eyes were black, looking exactly as if they were eye sockets when in actuality, they were her eyeballs that were pitch black. Her arms were crossed in the shape of an X over her chest and out of her abdomen protruded 2 glowing objects floating above them; on the left, a heart, and on the right, a soul.

I looked at Lolita and she looked back at me... I figured we were thinking the same thing.

'What the hell?!'

The woman glared down at the both of us and smiled slightly. "Khrona... Girl... How are you?"

Lolita puffed out her cheeks. "My name is Lolita, okay?" She gripped her umbrella tightly.

The woman giggled a bit, "How cute... You're offended. Obviously, if I did not refer to you by name, your significance is minuscule here, wouldn't you agree?" She giggled once again.

Lolita and I were irked at that comment and we were ready to attack her. Lolita raised her umbrella to the woman. "It was a mistake to piss us off, madam."

The woman frowned and from the black liquid came skinny, but thick tentacle-like tendrils that ensnared the both of us completely, leaving only our heads to breath. "Belligerent meatbags! This place is made completely of my manifestations... Everything I have devoured here is now a manifestation of myself!" The tendrils pulled us downward into the liquid to our necks, again leaving us only our heads to breath. "Truculent little specks... Though it is quite impolite of me not to introduce myself. I am... Corruption."

I quirked my head as much as I could confined in the liquid, compelled to ask her, "Corruption of what?" I Knew I was a corrupt being but... Not to this extent.

She said to me, "I am the corruption of your heart, soul and mind, dear. I've been eating away at you for years. You remember those hidden and bottled up emotions you have? Yes well... I am the leaving, you could say, of them. Mostly Pain, Hate and Anger. Your heart is most delicious... Your heartbreak and pain are just extravagant! It was like a smorgasbord!" She licked her lips, drooling just a bit.

I was speechless... so she continued on. "I also devoured your soul... Your reminiscent thoughts of happiness that can't be achieved again turned into sadness and hate... and I devoured them. Your mind... The best of all... So many conflicts... So many aspects... Everything that encumbers your thoughts, be it the 'other sides of you' or your negative outlook on things that should be positive, like love and socialization, I've devoured those!! Ha ha ha... But unfortunately, somehow you always overcome complete corruption from me with thoughts of others... Kindness... Sweetness... Thoughtfulness... Selflessness... Always destroying my manifesting corruption! As of recently, it's been killing me off more than usual... especially since you met that... girl." Her hair flared up and she grinded her teeth. "Though... if I kill you both while you're in here... I can stop you and take total control! Wreak havoc! Cause chaos!!" The liquid around us became denser and thicker. It was starting to crush us.

I said to her, "As... much as I like havoc and chaos and the like... I don't think I will enjoy you killing me and Lolita, so... I'll have to stop you."

She was silent for a moment, but after a few seconds she exploded with laughter. "Oh... child... How amusing, you are... How do you plan to stop me when you cannot move? I could just kill you now..."

I smiled at her. "I know I can't kill my corruption, for everyone has their own corruption in some way or form, but it will not be hard to stabilize it with my own realization of what to do about it."

Her frown turned into a face of pure hate. "GAH!! Pusillanimous cur!! You shan't be suppressing what I've devoured so much of! I will not allow it!!" The liquid compressed around us, tighter and tighter, it could be felt pressing severely close to our bones... but to my expectations, it stopped. The liquid was still, lightening up on us. Corruption had a confused look on her face now, her flaming hair settling down a bit. "What? What is thi-- Why are you not writhing in pain? Why are your insides not being crushed? WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?!"

I simply shook my head, pulled myself from the liquid along with Lolita and smiled. "You thrive on my bad vibes, right? My negativity? Well, what happens if there is none? Your power decreases, right? You shrivel into a speck, right? A minute being with no power and no control? An insignificant speck? Tell me if I'm headed the right way on this."

Lolita smiled, trying not to laugh.

Corruption's sea of blackness was gradually reverting back into a small pond of her own corruption. She was breathing heavily and her body slumped over. "We... We can do this for eternity, boy... I will always consume you! Eat you from within yourself! No matter how many 'positive thoughts' you have, you will never destroy me!"

I had to laugh at her. "It's obvious that your power is nothing more than what I make of it. No matter how much you expand, I will always put you back to this tiny puddle. Isn't that just dandy?"

She hissed at me, clawing violently in my general direction. "I'll claw your eyes out!! I'll shred your esophagus!! I will tear the flesh straight from your body, make it into a rope and use it to rip out that horrible tongue of yours!! GRAAAH!!!"

Lolita shot a missile at her, and Corruption exploded.

She lay flat on her face, burnt to a crisp. "Foul bitch..."

Lolita and I flipped her off simultaneously and began our path elsewhere into the nothingness of the light.

The further we continued forward (I think) into nothingness, small intersecting stripes appeared on what I could now tell was the ground. The stripes eventually curved upward to form walls, then a ceiling, then a never ending pathway forward into more stripes.

I sighed. "... Seriously, how many things are wrong with me?"

A voice was heard in a nonexistent wind, "Everything is wrong with you..." it whispered.

A large wall shot up around me, separating me from Lolita once again. "Everything isn't wrong with me!"

Another whisper passed through my ears, "If nothing's wrong with you, you wouldn't still be here..." It snickered.

"Well, what do you suppose is wrong with me? How can I fix it?"

Another whisper, "Besides you being unnecessary, unwanted, unloved and uncared for, heehee... EVERYTHING is wrong! There is no changing it! Accept your fate! Accept your flaws... Accept that no one wants you and that you serve no purpose to anyone!"

My eyes darkened and I fell to my knees. "You're right... No one wants me... I am only a burden to everyone and everything I know... An ungrateful bastard who will not be able to receive the love of others... Only hate."

The whispers formed into a cloud, laughing in agreement.


I agreed, almost coming to tears. "Yes, yes... Everyone hates me... They will always hate me..."

The whispers began again, "What do you plan to do about this? Nothing, I bet. Wallow in your own sorrows and depression... Or, you could... Kill them."

I shook my head. "What about the ones I love? Even if they are very little..."

The whispers continued, "Don't kill them, then. Hide from them... Distance yourself, and you will be fine... Or, alternatively... Kill yourself."

My eyes darted about. "It's... a possibility..."

The cloud wrapped around my head, hindering my vision. "Yes, it is! An easy possibility... Maybe I can assist? I will cause your pain to leave... Let me just... seal your fate."

My eyes were filled with tears. "But if I die, the girl I love--"

"AS IF SHE REALLY CARES. You've brought her here, and now there is a risk that she might die... Who wants you? No one wants a selfish, disgusting, malicious, hateful, emotional, ungrateful parasite such as yourself! Hell, I don't even want you. I want you dead more than you do... But to be kind, I am trying to assist... It would be my pleasure to erase you, lonely little bastard..."

I curled up, only able to think these negative things.

The thought continued on, "Your death will bring happiness to everyone you know! You make everyone around you have a miserable life just by your existence... My dear boy, I just want to help you! Unlike yourself, I cannot stand seeing people suffer... I want to end all of your misery, and everyone else's misery by ending your life. Again... Let me Seal. Your. FATE."

These thoughts... They all sounded so true. They were true. I was convinced that they were. How could they not be true? If I end it all now, I can end the misery of everyone I know... I cause all problems. I cause all negativity... It stems from me and me alone. This cloud of negativity... It was suffocating me. Why? Only these thoughts when I am alone. That's the only time they come out... Because I am weak. Unstable. Insane. Alone. I knew that it was the Fate demon trying to kill me... wanted to 'Seal my fate,' and I just wanted to end it all and leave forever. The best conclusion...

But wait, deeper thought in this...

Lolita. She doesn't hate me. She is quite fond of me. She latches to me, stays by my side and I can tell she enjoys my company in this wretched world of myself. It was apparent from the beginning. It's like that for most of the people I know. They truly love me, and I love them... Some more than others... Specifically, Loli--

The cloud started to fade from my face. "You... You've realized something, haven't you? Heh... heh heh..." t laughed nervously. "Heh... Well. I assume you've realized that your fate is sealed, hm? Let me just --"

I interrupted it. "Your conviction is amusing, negative thoughts of mine. I can't stop you from coming into my head, but I can damn well see through your delusions."

The cloud screeched "FOOL!! You are a hated FOOL!! I LOATHE how cocky you are, impudent little wretch!"

I swayed my hand a bit, waving the cloud away.

"NOOOO!! My weakness, a small wafting breeze!! KYAAAH!!!! I will be back! Your mood always drops. You always end up being alone, eventually, and when you are, I WILL BE THERE TO KILL YOU!!"

The cloud disappeared.

I sighed. " know I cannot get rid of those evil things forever, but understanding them is what helps me overcome them..." Then, it hit me, like some sort of cat with poison for blood and acid rabies. That right there is what this journey was all about. Everyone, everything asking me 'Do I Understand?' Well, yes, I finally do understand. "Ah, my brain works best when I am alone." I smiled for a bit, then realizing something important... I was alone. Being alone in complete silence was not a good thing for me... Made me crazy. I don't want to be alone. How will I know everyone else exists? How will I show love to another? How will I experience happiness and fun i I am... Alone.

Alone. Solitary. Confined. For eternity. With nothing. With no one. No one but myself. Myself, a being which cannot thrive in eternal solitude. My head... Was it spinning? I could feel something.. My comprehension, my understanding. Were these things being undone? The screws were being undone... The screws... my sanity. All being undone, lost forever. The Wall.. Became a giant purple wall with screws in it, a few missing and some halfway out...


Under me, the largest screw appeared. My body merged with it. My head drooped. It wasn't screwed onto my body tightly anymore. My eyes... melancholy, lonely screws. 3 screws of varying sizes penetrated my skull, screwing themselves in until they ripped through the other side. My eyes... they did nothing but turn. Everything I could think... It wasn't right. My grip on sanity... on reality... on stability... on me... They were all fading. What was I to do? The screws... would keep coming undone. They would keep unscrewing and falling down... My sanity will rain down into a pit of darkness.

All of the screws began to turn on the wall simultaneously. They seemed synchronized with my thoughts and feelings, my insanity in general. Was there no stopping them all? My screw eye fell from its socket, down in front of me. I cared naught to pick it up. I was lifeless, paralyzed by my ever growing insanity. The screws turned faster. Slowly, the ones in my head turned.

One fell from the wall CLANK!! My vision was becoming distorted. I saw things that made no sense to me...

Another fell, CLANK!! My organs spilled from my body. I reached to touch them, and they melted into a pile of screws. Hallucinations. Or, perhaps it really happened? It was hard to tell here, where anything could happen.

The screws in my head began to turn faster, but I realized now that they were not trying to come out, but go farther in... I grasped my head and shook about violently.

"Trying... Your... Method... Obscures... Nirvana...
Keep... Head... Real... Or... Never... Awaken..."

What did it mean? Nothing but insane gibberish. My hands and face were beginning to melt. My eye socket had a small, glowing orb inside of it. My mouth disconnected from my face and melted into a puddle of liquid. The mouth smiled, then frowned, then sucked itself down into a nonexistent drain.


My eye socket grew teeth and blinked sideways, gnashing voraciously. Many mouths grew on my body, some happy, some sad. They all opened up and released blood, as well as the eye mouth. I tried to cover my eye mouth with my hand, but on my hand was just another eye, crying blood that eventually merged with my flesh. My flesh stretched and contorted in random places, sometimes just to converge with a different body part. My head lit on fire and it burned a greenish black flame. It just burned...

The screws in my head were almost all the way done. I coughed up black sludge, which turned out to be what had become of my internals. Through all of this crazy shit, I could only think of Lolita. Did I truly... love this girl? We just met, but she was the only thing on my mind... "Lolita... Lolita..." I was experiencing a great amount of pain now, physical and mental. "Lolita...! LOLITA!!" I fell on my face and writhed with this intense pain.. lack of organs, except my heart, which I could feel hurting me on the inside. The screws that penetrated my brain went deeper... deeper... deeper... "Lolita..."

In a flash, she appeared before me. Everything stopped. The screws ceased.

The ones that were falling out of the wall began screwing themselves back in. Being alone and having no one to love were parts of the reason why I was insane. Lolita remedied both of those. My vast emotional thought process and 'other sides of me' must make up the rest, the ones that loneliness and a forlorn love do not. An apathetic approach should be appeasing, but it cannot hold forever.' I realized these things now, just by looking at Lolita... Gazing at her beauty... She didn't seem to care about the grotesque and hideous deformities of my body. She... She just hugged me and I had no choice but to return the favor.

She whispered into my ear, "Khrona, I lo--"

The screws in my head finally went as far as they could, making a small 'click' sound. Everything was white once again, another abyss of complete white nothingness.

There was a clock floating in the air, extremely large... Larger than any building I have seen in my lifetime. Lolita was silent. She looked at me, but was silent... What was she going to say before? I wanted to know. Badly.

Before I could speak, however, large tendrils shot from the back of the clock. What seemed to be infinite in amount, they all bent and pivoted into different directions. They were solid and metallic, extremely skinny compared to the big ass floating clock.

After a while, the tendrils seemed to make some sort of cage... it seemed. From the sea of white emerged a large door that shined with a great light. 3 horizontal rectangular prisms floated upward to make stairs that weren't connected to each other. The stairs were about as large as a house in height. "Um. Okay. How the FUCK do we get up there?"

Lolita smiled and opened her umbrella, "My omnipotent umbrella changes into bat wings~!"

I sighed, "... Seriously? Where did you even GET that?"

She averted her gaze from mine, smiling cutely, "Um... A thrift store...? Magical gypsy...? Internet...?"

I sighed again. "Well, whatever. I'm guessing we have to open that huge door. It's just a matter of how?" The instant I asked how, from the back of the clock spurted the gargantuan god-like thing. It was a pale marble color, having nothing but an upper torso from the waste up. It was quite muscular and wore 2 large gloves, in one hand was a huge, silver mallet. ts face could not be seen, for it had a hood over its face, shrouding it in a shadowy blackness. A singular yellow eye pierced through hte darkness on the left side of its face (from what I could tell). The hood was also a tattered cape that flowed like a shadow, but eventually faded out into oblivion. It had several gears in its chest.

Naturally, from all the video games, I knew that it was the guardian of the place and it would open the door when I did some sort of task. It spoke, "I am the guardian, Chrono, of this place, the Temple of Time. Only I can open these doors when you complete one task."

... I fucking knew it. Almost verbatim. Damnshit. Better ask it the task... "What is this task, Chrono?"

Chrono raised its mallet. "You must answer one question... Do you understand?"

Do I understand? "I understood a while ago, Chrono. My feelings, my thoughts, myself... Reality, Insanity, Love, Pain, Hate, Happiness... Life, Death, Past, Present... Myself. I understand it. To the extent I need to. No one understands themselves completely, but in retrospect, you aren't supposed to. I am fine with that. So yes. I do understand.  understand what I need to."

Lolita sighed dreamily at my words, saying under her breath, "so true..."

Chrono squinted his visible eye and the door opened, "You may pass, Khrona... Nice name, by the way." The door opened and Lolita extended her umbrella outward, forming into extravagant bat wings. One flap brought us to the top of the first stair, another to the second, and a final flap to reach the third.

She continued to walk, but before I entered I had to inquire, "Hey... Chrono. There's something that I was oblivious to until just now... What is the purpose of the Temple of Time inside of me?"

Chrono chuckled, "This place... Is of your memories. This gate is a dimensional spectrum that allows you clairvoyance over your memories, among other things. The Temple of Time held the Door of Clarity confined until now... Though be warned, your fate is ultimately sealed..."

I nodded. "I see. Well. It is all for the better. I embrace death's call with open arms."

Chrono closed his eye and dropped his head. "Enter the door..."

I nodded once again and entered the door. The experience with Chrono made it clear to me that my fate was always sealed by death, no matter how soon it may be. The demon... I was fated to come within myself. Fated to meet Lolita. Fated to understand... Fated to die. After entering the door, I could see nothing. Darkness, but light at the same time.

Eventually, my vision returned to me, and I was in the middle of some barren, disgusting street in this horrendous, foul city. Lolita was beside me, awakening a bit after I had.. Odd since she went through the door first. I knew that this was finally the real place and not me. If it was a part of me, I wouldn't be here. Ha ha. What would have happened if I stayed in my simple, ignorant bliss? Nothing. My fate would have killed me without my understanding... and I would never rest. Acceptance of the cruel thesis of fate is all I can do, since it has shattered my ignorance.

Lolita, coming to her senses, fell onto my lap, "We're back, aren't we?"

"Yep."

"We aren't dead, are we?"

"Not yet."

"Ah... I should blow your fucking crotch off with a missile for taking me there, but if you didn't... I would have come to love you."

I petted her head. "Same goes for me. I love you, too, Lolita..."

During out lovey dovey happy time moment, The Reaper appeared before us... Still as a cute little chibi with his blood stained scythe. "Yo, Khrona~! It seems you inally understand. The problem is, I have to kill you... But the worse news is, I have to kill earth."

I smiled. "That's one of my greatest wishes. In fact, two. One, to rest forever peacefully, and two, to extinguish the corrupt vermin scum of this place for their constant disrespect, hate and destruction of all they inhabit."

Lolita hugged me a bit tightly. "So. Let's get this over with. I'll be happy to die with my love and with a cool guy like you, Reaper."

He smiled and twirled his scythe. "For that, I'll let you see the apocalypse. I'll do it all cool since you say I'm so cool~! Wait right here and look to the sky."


He warped into space, leaving us to ourselves. The reaper expanded himself to an astronomical size, more than 4 times larger than the planet. His skull was now ghastly, menacing, dark and stern, cracks only adding to his superlative creepy goodness. Around his neck was a demonic bell about the size of the earth. He spoke, but now...

*missing pages*