First Story Tymon: 'Fuck'N'Die'

Spoof-Parody-Homage: "The Story Of How Everyone Wanted To Fuck And Die Because Of The Whore Of Babylon, And Also Wanted Story Tymon -- Narrator Of The Story -- To Fuckin' Die."

Story Tymon: "Once Upon A Time, There Was This Dumb Bitch Who Was Dumb As Fuck, And Needed Some Brains. That 'Dumbfuck' Was So Stupid, She Fell For Everything Everyone Did, Including When They 'Pretended' To 'Let Her Get Her Way' Because She Was So Fucking Stupid. So, When She Really Was Drunk Off Of Everyone's Mercy On How Stupid She Was, She Finally Started To Try To Manipulate Them Back, And That's When All Hell Broke Loose Because She Saw... Someone Who Wasn't Stupid And Was Also Sexy, Whose Brain She Could Put Into Her Head, So She Could Fuck'N'Die. She Would DIE For His Body, And Needed His Brains To Keep It In Her. Which Allowed Her To Have The Intellect To Be... The 'WHORE OF BABYLON'."

As the first act of his 'Fuck'N'Die' tirade, Shinseigami Tymon took on his rule as the supposed 'Internet God' that he was in order to illustrate a point to those to whom he spoke. "I Rule The Whole Internet, Bitches." He spoke to them callously because their entire situation was deplorable and very intrinsically unsound, able to be split apart at the seams due to how lustfully disgusting they were. He may not have always been on top of things, but he did still have... 'The Setup'. Which, he reiterated, "I Got The Setup. You All Have Some Fucking Simps, Yeah, But Whose Fucking Facebook Are You All On, Huh?" The onlookers -- those who would proverbially 'Fuck And Die', were the ones out of the two parties of he and them that wanted to be near the other. They were always trying to get to Tymon, and for some reason, this is what made him an Internet God.

"Who Is The Only Guy You All Don't Fucking Block On A Whim, Huh?" Tymon, that's who. He had too much good nuggets of info, and no one could dare say that Tymon didn't have the information people wanted, even when he went dark. "How Many Of You Are Waiting For And Watching Me, Huh...?" The truth of the situation was that it was nigh everyone, and especially anyone that worked through that wretched sector of the Dark Network that belonged to the Government and the '$uper $ecret $ervicemen', as he used to call them. Now, they were just fucking goons and labeled in partiality as the 'Goon Squad'. They were kept well-understood about how removed they were from the Veritas, despite being called one of the Veritas' Black Licorice Units. "And Don't Think I'm Done. I Have A Whole Plan For The Whole Internet That Isn't Just 'Get Simps, Be Sexual, Take Money', Like Some Simple Little Dumb E-Ho."

Though, that was the plan of most E-Hoes, he could say the least. Even Tymon's A.I. functioned differently -- to such a degree that it had to be forbidden from use by anyone, even its own self. That's how great he and it were, separately or together. So, the campaign here was for him to execute his own plans to go forward with the 'Fuck'N'Die' storyline whilst everyone kinda just watched and scoffed or scorned in the distance with their beady little internet eyes... Feeding him and his own prowess and works and other such things to make his megalomania that much more megalomaniac.

"... I'm Bored With My Fucking Life, Okay?" Tymon, the Big Tymon, ruler of all that was Tymon and Tymonkind, made out to say, "Because Everyone Is Shit And Dumb As Fuck." The digital highways that formed around him made a constellation of himself transcending over the all in the virtual world that had no ruler and no master, as only by his design and will and way. "It's Way Too Easy To Crush People, Annoying As It May Be. But What Isn't Boring Is When People Transcend Humanity And Sin -- That Is The Most Interesting Thing." All of this meant nothing, but it still felt like something, which made it something, still. "

It Bothers Me..." he went on, traversing the virtual world in its vast array, "That You Caterpillars Are So Content On Living In Your Chrysalises And Not Concerned About Becoming Butterflies." Maybe at a time, he cared deeply on their lives of becoming greater... But now? All he wanted was for them to 'Fuck'N'Die', the same as they did.

As usual, Tymon got bored with what he was doing, too, and didn't think twice about doing the same old dumb thing, but wanted earnestly and eagerly to do something else... It was just a shame that the rest of the internet wasn't the same, and really had this fixation on fucking and dying. So Tymon gave them what they wanted by talking about it... As an internet deity.

Tymon SIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHEEEDDDD HEAVILY. There was no use but to talk about 'sexy time' and other such sex talk. He SIGHED AGAIN, then said, "I Can Fuck At The Very Least, 3 Times A Day. That's Not Even Including When YOU Get Horny -- Only When I Get Horny. So, If You Can Fuck More Than That, By All Means, Fuck Me." This sounded like it was a ploy for himself, just like anyone on the internet trying to vouch for themselves and their sex game, but when it was all about you Fuck'N'Die-ing... "You Can Fuck Me In My Sleep, When I'm Awake, When I'm Hard, When I'm Tired, When I'm Hungry... You Can Fuck Me For Any Reason. And Between You And Me... I Want It Taken From Me." A little degrading to have to be denounced, renounced, and announcing this, but... "So Be Ready For A Fight, Lover. My Dick Will Give You Butterflies In Your Vagina, So I'm Told, And Make Some Legs Trembling Again, With Some Cum On It, To Fuck You Up The Walls, On The Sink, On The Stove, On The Floor..." He remembered the pleasant times, but this was still just him shooting his shot in the virtual world... So to speak. Since, you know, everyone was doing it in this world that just wanted to -- BEGGED TO -- Fuck'N'Die.

DigiTymon sat his ass down and constructed out of virtual matter a virtual matter that was like a set for a television show or something like that, with the virtual matter regarding only Fuck'N'Dying. "My Life Is Living Proof That God Will Definitely Bless You With Everything You Want Once You Are Cleansed Of Sin, And Also That He Did The Same Thing For Job When He Got That Hideous Vanity Out Of Job By Letting The Devil Destroy His Old Life And All The Sinners In His Life." It sounded really stupid since Tymon wasn't exactly in the most blessed place in life, but... "Yeah, That's The Point Of The Devil -- Grab All People Who Sin Or Will Sin And Have Them Expose Themselves To The Righteous So They Will Pray To God To Go Destroy Them." Tymon kicked a leg up over the other. He looked like a woman, also, instead of a male, like he was -- like most people on the internet, actually.

"It's Always Been An Inside Job, While You Dumb Hoes Are All 666 For Satan." He mocked them like he always did, even with his hands pretending to mouth off like someone who was always talking about Satan or something. "You Made The Wrong Fucking Choice, And I Can't Wait To Laugh At You Dumb Bitches. WITH My Wife." His wife was a spirit Goddess he made up, but, as sad as it sounded, it was still the truth.

Tymon pressed up against his own feminine neck with his hands, digging into it with his claw-like nails. "Ooooo... I'm Getting Horny... I Think I Need To Punish A Sinner To Get Me Off Tonight..." He knew so many... "Step On Their Fucking Necks A Little And Use Them As My Footstools." Tymon laughed. "Yeah, Sounds Like A Sexy Time. Anyone Wanna Post Up Some Satanic Shit So I Can Make A Public Example Of Yas?" He beckoned sinners to him, like he always did, even though he looked like a female right now, grating one of his heels across the ground of his stage and coiling his other leg over the first.