The Fabled Black Friday The Thirteenth

*September 8



Disclaimer: "I Didn't Know Black Friday The 13th Existed. She Is Not Supposed To Exist At All. Friday Playing Games With Me, Creating The One Form I Didn't Make For Her On Goddamn Purpose, But You Know What? Have Fun, Because We Already Did It Like 5 Times In One Day."

8:35 AM: "OMG~! Cutie Sexy Woke Up And Now We're Texting~! I Hope She Woke Up Ready To Be Horny All Day! Teeheeheehee~!"

"I Just Love Making People Horny~! I Love To Do That And Flirt For Fun, Even If I Have No Intention Of Having Anything With Anyone I Am Flirting With. I Just Enjoy Flirting And Making Others Horny. As A Personal Enjoyment. But People Always Get The Wrong Idea, Or They Get Way More Invested Than They Need To Without Discussing Anything... Because I Am Choosing To Play In A Way I Like To Fucking... Be Playful. Just Wanna Flirt And Make People Horny, Then Go Off And Mind My Business. Or Sex. I Mean, That Too. Obviously."

"OMFG, SHE THINKS SHE'S READY TO BE HORNY ALL DAY AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S GETTING HERSELF INTO -- DIVING IN HEADFIRST. BOI, SOMEONE BOUTTA TAP OUT IN A MIN."

"... Wow. Guess That's The End Of The Tymon Problems For Today. She Is On Her Way Now. You're Welcome, You Fucking Assholes. See, This Is Why I Tell Them To Listen To Me. Now We Get To Take All This Murder Out On A Pussy, Like We Always Know We're Supposed To When We Get So Worked Up Like That. But Everyone Gets So Afraid, So I Never Have The Easy Way To Keep Myself From Murdering A Person... By Murdering A Pussy Instead. I've Never... Had The Pleasure Of Letting Myself Get That Way. People Have Fallen In Love With Glimpses, But... I Was Just Slightly Upset And Horny. It Was Nowhere Near Murder."

September 8, 10:44 AM

"... Okay, Cutie Sexy Is Coming And Will Be Here In Like, 30 Minutes, So I Need To... Not Be Here On Lame-Ass Social Media With Losers That Gets No Bitches, Like Some Zuckers I Know. Oooooohohohohohhohohohoho~!!"

"... Christ, We Are Some Savages. Fucking Bitch. Pissing Me Off All Sexy Like That. Nnggh... That Pisses Me Off. No One Ever... Does It Right. In All My Years... FUCK."

"... Being Able To Piss Me Off Correctly In A Sexy Way Is Actually A Huge Deal breaker. I Usually Try To Compromise For That One, But That Skill Is So Rare And Raw And Genuine, I Would Cuff Anyone Who Actually Knew How To Do It."

September 8, 2:42 PM

"Over With. She Loves It."

September 8, 4:32 PM


"Damn, We Boutta Be On The Move For Some Psyches, Son. This Bae Here Boyo. I Can't Wait Until We Get Back So We Can Fuck Some More, Tripping Bawlz, Watchung Anime, Playing Games... Touching Her Tight, Fit Body... Nnnn... I Caught The Luckiest Break 3 Days Ago. God Blessed Up."

"Cuddling On The Train Whilst She Sleeps In My Arm. Cutest Couple~. She's Pretty Strong... And Her Biceps Are Big... But I'm Still Stronger. She Likes My Strength..."

September 8, 6:43 PM

"She Said I Gave Her Butterflies In Her Vagina. Nnn..."

"This One Is A Hot Little Firecracker, Crazy And Random. But, Like Everyone Else, Incapable Of Discerning Playtime From Serious Time. That's Actually A Dealbreaker, Too. There Is No Compromise For A 'Play Too Much' Person. They Will Fuck Off Anything Important And Then Be Upset You Aren't Playing. So, Not A Bae, But A Good Friend With Benefits. She Can Come Fuck Me Anytime."


"0h... Wait... This Was A Crazy Person Battle. And I Did Win. I Just Didn't Realize She Was As Crazy As She Is, Or Smart Enough To Even Perform A Crazy Battle. Guess She's Better Than I Expected, But... She Gets Too Lost In It. See, Crazy People Have Their Own Perspective And Society. That Is Why I Can Be Cool With Both This Girl And Also My Bro Yesterday. Because We Know What Actual Crazy Is. But Yeah... I Guess If She Doesn't Die, She Passes. Until Then... Time To Make Chicken Rings."

September 8, 10:13 PM

"Yaaay. I Made A Sexy Crazy Friend And We Like To Fuck Each Other. It's Been Since Like, 2016 Since I Had Sex, And I Didn't Even Finish. But Today, I Came After We Fucked The Second Time, But Her Ass Wanted To Tap Out After That, Even When I Was Still Good To Go So I Wouldn't Ravage Her Anymore. Like, Ugh. You Just Wanted To Say You Made Me Cum. Like, Ohhhh, Fine, You Can Have That, But You Ain't Ask For No More And Ran Away From It To Keep Your Fucking Win. Sooo Annoyyyyiiiing. Play Too Goddamn Much. I Was Ready To Go Plenty More. Her Ass Wanna Take A Breather, And Then Power Nap On The Train. But It Was Cute. Fun Day. Yeah. I Hope She Isn't Dead Somewhere... If She Lives, We Will Hang Out And Fuck More."

"In Other News... I Still Have Some Of Whatever That Black Powder Was. Time To Sprinkle The Dust On My Weed-- Oh, Her Ass Wanna Have Fucking... Fairy Godparents. Goddamn... Cosmo And Wanda. But I Didn't Tell Her About My Fairy... Friday The Thirteenth."

September 8, 10:20 PM

"Fuckin... Crazy Bitch Done Popped Up Again. I Knew Her Ass Was Smarter Than All That Dumb Shit. She Was Trying To Pull A Me. But I Didn't Recognize It Because I Obviously Naturally Speak That Language."

September 8, 10:52 PM

"Gonna Give That Pussy Payback For Making Me Cum. She Better Get Ready."

September 9, 12:01 AM

"... Goddamb. We Are Tripping Way So Hard. Fawk Yiah."

September 9, 6:33 AM


"Ooo, Someone Is Running From Dick Because She Fears Dick Lock... Oop... She Is Trying So Hard To Hide It. Ciuute."

"Fuuuuuuuck. All This Wild Ass Sexual Shit Made Me Accidentally Crack My Phone A Little More. And Now She Knows My True Godly Identity. Bleeeeeh. Plus She Is Wild As Hell, Climbing All Over Shit. She Got So Much Energy But Scared To Hop Back On This Dick. Pussy."

September 9, 8:51 AM


"Christ. Her Crazy Ass Is Too Crazy To Be In A Fucking House. That Makes Me So Mad Because I Hate Being Outside. She May Fit A Lot Of Things I Love, But Goddamn, There Is No Point If She Is Too Crazy To Function About Basic Shit. Like, Damn. Crazy People Just Don't Respect Another Person's Potential Crazy Unless They See It. Goddamn Humans."


"I'm Just Mad That Her Ass Tapped Out Because I Came. Like... I Wasn't Done. I Just... Don't Understand. If The Sex Was So Amazing And All We Did Was Be Sexual And Wrestle And Kiss Nonstop... Why Was My Dick So Intimidating? That's Frustrating. They Ask For Amazing Sex, Then Get Scared Of It If It's Too Amazing? Like, Bruh. I Wasn't Even DONE FUCKING. UUUGH. Oh Well, It Was Fun. I Just... Am Bamboozled By This Discovery."


"I'm Sad Because I Came And I Was Still Disappointed And I Was Amazing Even Though I Didn't Eat Or Drink Alll Day And Got Dehydrated And Somehow Did Not Get Satisfied, And I Just Don't Understand The World Anymore. This Does Not Happen. No. Girls Enjoy Really Good Sex And Then Go Want More. They Don't... Get Scared Of Sex Being Too Good. I Have Never Heard Of That Before."


"The Foundation Of My World Is Collapsing Now And I'm Ready To Take Down The Whole Planet In My Destabilization. I'm So Sad I Didn't Get Satisfied... I'm Sad My Sex Was Amazing Enough To Scare A Crazy, Sexy, Fit Girl With A Strong Pussy Into Being Too Afraid To Let Me Stick It In. What Did I Do? There Was Literally Zero Signs Of Dissatisfaction From Her. Absolutely Not A One. So This Does Not Make Sense And I Am Frustrated."



"I'm So Fucking Mad And Sad That I Won't Have Amazing Sex Anymore With Anyone. Because Humans Just... Find A Way To Desecrate Everything. So Fine. No More Bomb Ass Sex For No One. And I'm Master Locking It And Setting Up A Gatekeeper So No One Can Have Sex With Me Unless They Prove Themselves."


"Let's See How She Likes The Baby Momma Treatment, Since She Talking About Having Babies... Absolutely No Sexual Contact Until The Matter Is Resolved. If She Reacts Like My Baby Momma Did 10 Years Ago, No More Sex Ever For Her. Hmph. It Isn't Just All About A Woman's Experience. But She Was More Satisfied About Me Cumming On The Second Fuck. Like... Bro, Most Guys Come On The First Fuck. Not Only Did I Give Multiple Consecutively, I Also Was Ready For Like, 3 Or 4 More Times. But She Wanted That Cum Trophy. It's Okay. I Recall Some Cream On My Dick On That Third Time. Hmph."

September 9, 9:15 AM

"Ugh, I Shouldn't Be Mad About The Great Time I Had, But There Are Intricate Matters That Are Also Involved Beyond The Sex. Ugh. I'm Not Mad At All About The Experience. It Was Sexy And Fun. I Am Mad At Her Brain For Thinking Like That. So. I Will Punish It, And She Will Atone. I Will Take Away Her Insanity And See How She Enjoys Life Without An Affliction. Hmph."


"... Humans Acting Like I Don't Know How To Strip Simple Afflictions And Iniquities Because I Choose Not To Because They Don't Deserve It. But Bet -- Even A Perceived Reward Can Be Made A Punishment. For Those Who Enjoy Their Afflictions... Their Punishment Is Having Them Taken Away."

September 9, 9:39 AM

"... I Guess I Am A Little Sore. We Were Very... Wild And Rough. I Just Didn't Notice I Was Sore Until Now... And It's Only In Like, My Hips And Back. She Said She Liked My Hips Though... Someone Else A Long Time Ago Enjoyed My Contour... But Most People Liked My Abs. No One Ever Pays Attention To My Legs At All, Let Alone My Hips. But I Know How To Work Those, Too... And She Thought My Feet Were Beautiful."

"Fucking Christ. And I'm Still Not Hungry After Barely Eating Anything For Two Days. I Just Hate Knowing I Haven't Eaten, Then Trying To Eat And Not Being Able To. I Probably Ate Like, One Meal In Two Days. And I Have So Much Food, And I'm Just... God, People Are Lucky I Am Too Tired To Rampage. Up All Goddamn Day AND Night With NO Food For TWO DAYS. Humans Are Too Reckless. I Need To Be Inside. Fuck All That Outside Bullshit."

September 9, 9:52 AM

"I Am Glad I No Longer Feel Weak Enough Where I Feel Like I Need To Have Sex All The Time. I Asked God To Just Let Me See If I Was Still Any Good After All Of These Years... Come Find Out I'm Better Than I Ever Was. Granted, I Mostly Only Had Sex As A Teenager And Had Sex One Time Other Than Yesterday-Today As An Adult... But I Remember That Incredible Feeling Of Subservience To Sex. But Now, I Am Free Of All Earthly Attachments And Possessions. But An Attachment Is Not The Same As Necessity."


"This Freedom Is Peace. I Can Have Sex Anytime I Want To, Be Really Good, And Not Crave Or Want Or Search For It. It's A Very Liberating Feeling To Be Free From Enslavement To Sexual Tendencies. Too Bad The Rest Of The Earth Is Scheduled For Sexual Enslavement Under The Fourth Beast Of The Bible. God Saved Me From That, Because The Only Way To Beat The Fourth Beast Is To Not Have Sex. Good Thing I Got Free. Gonna Go Get My Tools For Gold Digging. AY YO HOES. I Got A Job For You, And I Don't Want To Fuck You."

Septemnber 9. 6:09 PM


"... After Yesterday, I've Only Fucked 5 People In My Entire Life. The First Person I Lost My Virginity To, The One Who Gave Me Her Virginity, My Baby Momma, My Homegirl, And Now, This Crazy Bitch. I Guess All Of The People I Have Had Sex With Have A Meaning. Maybe I Can Make A Very Meaningful Sex Biography For My Life. But All My Sexual Encounters Would Have To Be Meaningful."



Update: After This Monday Past, It's 6.

September 9, 7:57 PM

"... I Didn't Even Realize This Before... This Crazy Bitch Broke My Collar Snatching It Off Of Me. That's So Hot And Cute. And Yet, I Cannot Shake This Horrible Sadness. And That Makes Me Angry. I Am Capable Of Harnessing All Such Feelings With Stability, But... Something Doesn't Feel Right. But I Also Feel Like... I Cannot Do Anything. I Must... Simply Rest."

September 10, 4:17 AM


"... She Was So Cute Climbing All Over My Walls And Sinks And Stove... Maybe We Can Make Some More Love. I Will Consider A Pardon."

September 10, 12:56 PM

"... Oh Fuck... Yes Bae Is Coming Back Over... I Just Splashed At Her Because God I Could Not Control Myself I Don't Know Why But Dammit She's Coming Back Hell Yes Omfg Let Me Take A Shower. Oh Shit. Oh Fuck. Oh God. Oh Damn. Okay. Oh Shit. Okay. Hit The Shows. Fucking Christ."