Tymon's Revenge; Aggretsuko (Laughing At The Slave Girl)

"I AM BEYOND =DEAD= RIGHT NOWWWWW. I EVEN TOLD HER. I'M =UNDEAD= RIGHT NNOOOOOWWWWW I CAN'T =WAIT= TO HEAR WHAT SHE SAYS =OMFL=."

"It's Funny To Me On A Fundamentally Personal Level. I Literally Cannot Function, It's So Funny. And What's Funnier Is... It's Only Funny -BECAUSE- I Know -FOR A FACT- That She Is -EXACTLY- Like That -AS A PERSON- In Private. 10000%. So I'm Fucking DYING."

"Omfgggg Yuuuuck~!!! Who OKed This Shooooowwwww Ewwwww~~~~!!! Omfg, I Don't Know How I'm Going To Watch This Show. I Will Never Let Her Live It Down. If It Wasn't Already Absolutely Unbearable To Be On This Planet With Me As It Was, This One Is About To Take The Cake. And I Hope It Pisses Her Off To Absolutely No End."

"I'm Laughing Myself To Fucking Sleep, Sons. I'm Sure This Is -Exactly- What Happened During All These Years, And I'm So Certain Of It, I'm Trying My Damnedest Not To Fall Asleep Laughing My Ass Off To My Knowledge. Jesus, People Think Retsuko Is Intense? Christ God -- They Need To Know The Person Who Pisses Her Off The Absolute Most Of All! Without Comparison!"

"And, To Be Clear, If I -Didn't- Know That She Loved Every Second Of Me Being Mean To Her, I Wouldn't Even Give Her That Satisfaction. I Cater To That Because I'm Finally Giving Her What She Wants... Without The Part She Always Wanted. To Teach Her A Lesson. She Knows Why She Is How She Is And Why We Are As We Are, Annoying As It Is. But, To Be Perfectly Honest, I'd Still Rather Her Not Be Alive."

"And Now, Thanks To The Permanence Of What A Fucking Loser Poser She Is, I've Cemented Something Further For Myself Through Her Dumminess. I Guess She Was More Useful Than I Thought~! OOOOHOHOHOHHO~! I'mma Be All, 'Omfg, You Like Your Extra Clout? There Might Be More Where That Came From, You Attention Whore~!' I Am Going To Really Enjoy My Life."

"OMMMFFFGGG EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW I Am Going Through Sooooo Much Garbage In My Head And I'm Just Mad It's Hilarious, But Keeping Me Awake When I Seriously Don't Even Want To. But I'm -Deeply- Invested In This Show Now, And I Want To Know The Continuity."

"The Only Reason I'm So Certain Is Because I, Myself, Was Like Retsuko... As A Child. And, When I Met Her, She Had Very Similar Tendencies As Me. We Even Look Similar. But She Pursued The Bad Qualities That I Abandoned And Mastered In Childhood That She Thought I Was Not Keen To Because She Was So Full Of Herself Getting Over On Regular People And Not Someone Like Her. Which Is Why To Me, This Is The Funniest Thing In The World. Because She Was Always The Weak One That Wanted To Be Strong And In Power, And I Was The Strong One That Didn't Want To Overpower People. Just The Same As Now."

"The Moral Of The Story Is, All You Dirty Monsters Have Learned A Lesson That Is Also Immortalized Forever For My Eternal Reference To You Anytime I Should Deem Or You Should Need."

"Swear To God I Laugh Every Time Retsuko Gets Mad. God, I Remember The Times So Much And It's Fucking Hilarious. I'm Never Gonna Be Able To Be Upset At Her Again. I Just Don't Have It In Me Anymore. And I Know She'll Be Pissed Off To Fucking Death Because She Will Have No Outlet For Her Uncontrollable Microaggressions And Life Of Enabling. It's Fucking Perfection On A Silver Platter, And I Get To Reap The Whole Fruit, And Keep Her As An Example."

"This Show Wouldn't Be So Funny To Me If I Didn't Know How My Baby Momma Is In Private As A Person. If I Didn't Know This Was -Exactly- Who She Was, Even Back Before This Show Came Out, It Would Not Be As Insanely Hilarious. But Alas, I Must Digress. I Have The Rest Of My Natural Life To Laugh At This Girl. As For Today, I Have Work To Get Back To. But I Am Loving This New Year. It Is The Year Of Retribution, And No One's Getting Off Easy, Even If They Try. This Is The Year I Was Talking About Years Ago When Everyone Thought I Was Just Speaking Nonsense. Yet, Look At Where We Are Now."

Tymon: "I'm Actually Pretty Ecstatic To Find Out How Many People My Baby Momma Has Roped Into Feeling Sorry For Her, Who May Or May Not Be Used Against Me At Some Point. It's Her Signature Move, Guys. To Me, She Is My 'Jerry' From 'Rick And Morty'. The Jerry That Thinks She Is Beth, Or EVEN RICK. That's The Type Of Person She Is And Always Has Been. She Needs A Mountain Of People To Cushion Her Own Pitiful Feelings So She Doesn't Have To Deal With How Shitty She Is Deep Down Underneath Her Well-Meaning Surface. She Likes To Think She Is A Better Person Than She Is And Then Neglect Everything That Is Otherwise, Then Pretend It Doesn't Exist. A Full-Blown Pitiful Coward."